Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

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Make that “…a GREASED pig”.

2007-03-12

I’ve managed to wrestle several XSLT stylesheets into — well, not submission exactly, but grudging respect.  I’m starting to make visible structural changes to the HTML components of HIP.

OK, so the SunCat 2.0 development server isn’t nearly as pretty as the mockup, but this time the lipstick, smeared as it may be, is on a real pig and not just a piggy bank.

And, yes, I’m aware that the UN Commission on Eliminating the Torture of Metaphors has been trying to reach me all day.  But I’ve been coding, darn it.  They can wait.

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Kittens… or Beer?

2007-03-07

Kittens... or Beer?

The code4lib 2007 cage match.

(Click the image for full detail.)

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code4lib: 2007-03-01 (part the second)

2007-03-01

Here’s what it was like to be me in #code4lib this afternoon:

<miker_c4lc>    {#code4lib} sylvar++
<miker_c4lc>    {#code4lib} sylvar++
<royt_>         {#code4lib} sylvar++
<royt_>         {#code4lib} sylvar: don't make me get all medieval on you ;-)
<anarchivist>   {#code4lib} sylvar++
<mmmmmRob>      {#code4lib} sylvar++

Those last two were from my suggestion that “The Department of Homeland Security uses six threat levels: low, guarded, elevated, high, severe, and Roy Tennant Is Ped Off.” We were doing a bit of a Chuck Norris on him because that’s what jesters do for kings.

Other popular statements:

“It’s easier to get forgiveness than to ask permission. It’s better not to apologize for reverse engineering and instead teach the vendor a better way.”

“Vendor-provided software is modular. The vendors just don’t know it yet.”

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EULA for this blog

2007-02-01

READ CAREFULLY. By reading this blog-post, you agree, on behalf of your employer, to release me from all obligations and waivers arising from any and all NON-NEGOTIATED agreements, licenses, terms-of-service, shrinkwrap, clickwrap, browsewrap, confidentiality, non-disclosure, non-compete and acceptable use policies (“BOGUS AGREEMENTS”) that I have entered into with your employer, its partners, licensors, agents and assigns, in perpetuity, without prejudice to my ongoing rights and privileges. You further represent that you have the authority to release me from any BOGUS AGREEMENTS on behalf of your employer. 

http://reasonableagreement.org/
(modified by Cory Doctorow)

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A look back at CODI 2005

2006-10-07

Let’s wrap up the coverage of CODI 2006 with a fond look back at CODI 2005. I’ve removed all the names from these quotes. Sorry about that, Posterity.

…………………

“This is less bad than it could have been.” — Customer #1

“Can I quote you on that?” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

“Somebody blog it, please!” — Customer #2

…………………

“Portal authentication: this has been a nightmare, and I don’t know if it will continue to be.” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

“Barcode and PIN, it’s not been–it doesn’t have–uh–good results.” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

“If you don’t go Barcode/PIN, all your My List data is gone.” — Customer #1

“And we’re actually trying to tell you not to go Barcode/PIN.” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

“So I can expect to be stoned.” – Customer #3

“And I can, too… If you want to stone me, I would prefer tomatoes.” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

“With BImport, you have a choice. You can choose Barcode and PIN–which isn’t a good choice. But neither is the other one.” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

………………………………….

“Just don’t let the executives get a hold of it (these quotes).” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

……………………..

“It’s a better architecture in eight-oh.” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

“I have to agree, even though we’re currently using *Sybase*.” — me

“(pause) …So they made that announcement, then?” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee
…………………………………..

“Your subtab is called Restricted Loans?” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

“Yes, it’s like Reserves.” — Customer #4

“It’s not like a mortgage, it’s just a book checkout.” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

………………………

“Who solved this problem before?”– Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

“I *had* the problem before, but you solved it by giving me a new machine.” — Customer #2

(cheerfully) “Oh, that’s how Support will fix it.” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

………………….

“We have two skins called ‘default’. We do that to confuse you.” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

“I have Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Acquisitions. No, kidding, it’s Harry Potter and the Order of McNuggets.” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

“I think the programmer was smart. I mean I hope they were, because… um… yeah…” — Anonymous SirsiDynix Employee

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This conversation could have happened anywhere. This is CODI 2006 in a nutshell.

2006-10-05

(A SirsiDynix employee stood in the exhibit hall with a Styrofoam cup of coffee in one hand and a BlackBerry in the other.)

Me: So, between the coffee and the BlackBerry, which would you say is more addictive?

SDE: Well, let me put it to you this way: I’m trying to drink as much of this as possible, and trying to stay away from this as much as possible. I need a 12-step program for this one (the BlackBerry).

(And what did I do? Astute readers will have guessed. I put down my Diet Coke and blogged it on the spot.)

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Library 2.0 Logo Mashups

2006-09-14

I was asked to come up with a few logos for library-related companies that don’t exist. My first few ideas were improbable mergers:

OCLC Google

Click the image or the following text to see more Library 2.0 Logo Mashups, including .svg,  Adobe Illustrator, and 100×100 icon-sized files for the resulting logos.